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like I said.. when I said you were beautiful I meant your spirit, but you assumed I was talking about your face. Tones of vanity?

By May 30, 2013Blog

to be clear, you sent me an anonymous message saying: “You are so beautiful. I want to marry you.” 

beauty. though often attributed to looks is also an adjective attributed to one’s perception of awe, attraction, fixation etc. my question was, “if i weren’t beautiful would you want to divorce me?” In asking this question, i was posing the sincere thought that beauty is and should not be a determining factor of union and also if one were “ugly” so to speak, figuratively or literally, it is not a definitive reason to long or not long a union with someone. Rather or perhaps, maybe, its possible you have projected your own ideas of my question upon me, with your very own unique perception of my perception. Maybe you were expecting some sort of superficial response? A “vain” thank you would suffice?   And there in lies the magic of communication, of truly reading someone’s words, and seeing the spirit behind them. To assume to know anything based off of a look, a phrase, an idea… Rather, to feel, to experience, and to be is my only insinuation. You don’t know me or much of anyone for that matter. Beautiful or not, in spirit, soul, or other wise—union is rather more simple than that. And maybe, it was “too deep” or “too bold” of me to respond to your question with a question, one that I would hope, could open the possibility for more than beauty and all its perceived forms. We all range in our moments of attractiveness and that is truly the magnificent thing of experiencing an individual and also aware that to be with someone is never about the weather of their attractiveness but about the choice to stand by and with them, especially in moments where our perception fails to reveal what is truly there and beyond…

Tones of vanity?  If you mean “vanity” as in excessive pride in ones character or qualities exhibited in one’s character, or genuine strong feeling of this pride, then, why, yes. Most definitely. For it has taken me years to discover my own beauty and also the fluidity of that. How it grows and changes and transforms and that it doesn’t exist in binary modes. I am so very ecstatic to think of this strength, this spirited wisdom within that is not based on your perception but rather my own, knowing and feeling. This is unmoved. Tones of vanity? if you mean, how dare you have the audacity to imply your own beauty when i compliment you on it, to bathe in my compliment? I say, no, you have misunderstood me. Because as you can see, compliments are fair-weathered and hardly stick with the root of the thing complimented. What started out as compliment on your end quickly changed into an accusation. An accusation with no true understanding of the essence of my question or rather the range of my beauty especially in this instance. 

Oh, to be anonymous with an ounce of typing power on the internet. How easy to try and flatter or belittle another when essentially, we have no true understanding of the people behind the images we’ve made up in our minds of them.

Thank you. for everything you are and aren’t. I wish you well.